ControverSunday Topic: ‘Saviour Siblings’ March 6th 2011

Okay, we have our topic for March’s ControverSunday. And I hope its one that really gets you thinking.

It was suggested by my friend Sophie, who tweets at @malatrad and Lisa of @lisasunbury jumped in saying “this might be the link #controverSunday was created for.”

I think I agree.

So what is the topic you ask? Saviour Siblings. You know, deciding to have an other baby and using our knowledge of fertility and genetics to take measures to try and select that baby to have the right genetic material to help their sibling with a life threatening illness or condition. Essentially, creating a life to save a life.  Here is a recent article on the issue, take a read: France Sees First ‘Saviour Sibling’

Now that is a controversial topic if I ever heard one.

So gets your posts ready and scheduled to go live on Sunday March 6th. I can’t wait to hear what you all think. Quite frankly, I don’t even know what I think! I really hope you all join in. Remember, everyone is welcome! (To learn more about ControverSunday, check out the ControverSunday page. Which yes, I need to update.)

ControverSunday: Mental Health

The Cheeseblog

I thought a lot about the topic I would cover this week. The open topic challenge was to get up the guts and talk about that thing that we all avoid talking about. That controversial issue that sits there, right near the surface, that people hesitate to go into.

For me, that topic is mental health. Now, I guess I am cheating a little, cause I have talked about mental health before, in reference to my struggles with anxiety. It is not a totally forbidden topic for me. And in the general societal discourse- the topic is coming up more and more.

None the less, it is by far the topic I wish more people talked about. A lot more.

But I am not sure my take on it is controversial. I feel that I am just joining a chorus of voices that really want to bring this topic into our everyday conversation.

For example, I was really excited to see this campaign from Bell:

People are beginning to talk. This is not at all because of just Bell or any other one group, company or individual. It is all those voices adding up. I see it as a good sign.

So what do I wish people would realize and really talk about?

You see, I really think we see mental health issues as something that ‘those people’ have. We think of individuals on the extreme end of living with mental illness. The very visible illnesses: Bi-Polar, Schizophrenia, Obsessive compulsive disorder, ect. And we think of people who are very obviously at the point of not functioning the same way in society as we would.

The problem I have with this is that I truly believe that mental illness works on a bell curve. (no Bell pun intended) ‘They’ say that 1 in 4 or 1 in 5 Canadians experience an episode of mental illness within their lifetime. I disagree. I would suspect that number is much higher. Just like the vast major of people experience some form of physical illness within their life time, I suspect the vast majority of people experience some form of mental illness. I would rather say that the frequency, severity and duration of those episodes puts almost all of us somewhere on a big bell curve, with very mentally well and very mentally unwell on either end of the curve.

Not only that, I would argue that most of us travel back and forth along the curve at different points in our life. Sometimes we are more mentally well and other times we are more mentally unwell.

I think a lot of the conversation has been focused on the extreme. And FOR SURE, there are a lot people with severe mental illness that need support. When you look at the issue of homelessness and poverty, the issues of mental illness and addiction are so intertwined that obviously the lack of focus on mental health in our society is having a devastating impact. But I think this image of mental illness is misleading and tends to dismiss just how wide spread we are all effected by mental health issues. So I wish we would see ourselves as all having the very real potential of becoming mentally unwell, just as we all face the very real potential of becoming physically unwell. When we see mental health as something that is an important part of all of our lives that is when we will really start acknowledging it and talking about it.

I get that we humans have a evolutionary left over instinct to ‘not show our weakness’.. its why so many people don’t like going to the doctor or the dentist… we think it means we will be kicked out of the tribe or left behind. That ‘your pack is only as strong as its weakest member’ mentality… which I guess makes sense when you are trying to get away from cheetahs or something. Regardless, if we want to really enable people to lead the most mentally healthy lives they can,  it starts with recognizing just how pervasive mental illness is.

Think of all the stress we have in our lives. The pressure. The balancing of responsibilities and priorities and time lines. It is just plain hard to always have the mental fortitude to deal with those things without that starting to have an impact on ones mental wellness. And the connection between the mental and the physical runs very very deep. I wonder what the physical health of a mentally well society would look like.

That is the awareness piece. The other piece for me is the health care piece. IF mental health and physical health are as intertwined as I believe them to be (and I don’t just believe this cause I do, I have read this often.. I just can’t remember where to find a good source to send you all too) THEN why isn’t there more integration of physical and mental health in our health care system?

The answer to this question is really that our system treats symptoms, not causes. For the most part. Which is why so many people are on medication for mental health issues. Because it is easier to treat the symptoms then it is to set up a system that deals with the causes. And particularly when it comes to mental health, the causes are not something that the health care system can entirely impact. To achieve a mentally healthy society, we would need to look at our lives holistically– our work places, our homes, our recreation, our food, our communities, ect. Though I believe our health care system could play a much better role.

Some parts of the system are now moving in this direction. I know my doctor has special appointments with her and a mental health professional that her patients can sign up for… though there is very limited space in this program. But it does seem that parts of our health care system are recognizing the need. It just needs to go further. Doctors need to be more aware of mental illness and the connection to physical illness. And the path to treatment needs to be easy to navigate.. especially because mental illness often impacts ones motivation and fortitude to navigate the very complex system.

But most of all we need to talk about it.

ControverSunday February 6th, 2011: Open Topic

Alright ControverSundian’s, here is my challenge to you. Right before the season of Love (AKA Hallmarks favourite holiday, AKA Valentines Day)…. lets really get into it, shall we?

(New to ControverSunday? Check out the details here. And join us in the conversation!)

Pick a topic. Any topic. The kind of topic that you are passionate about. But the kind of topic you also feel you can only talk about in hushed tones. That you have to avoid at the dinner table or the water cooler or the park. The one you feel you shouldn’t talk about, least you offend anyone’s delicate sensitivities or be the one to stir the pot. The one topic you wish everyone would just throw the veil of darkness off and face head on. Yeah. That topic. I know you have one.

Write about it. And schedule your post for Sunday, February 6th.

And then we will all get up on Sunday February 6th and put a good measure of Baileys or Rum or Kahlua or whatever strong liquor of choice in our coffee and take a deep breath. Try not to panic. And hopefully a really interesting discussion will appear. Or just a crap load of angry comments. Either way. It will be fun.

What do you say, are you in? (Please someone be in, I don’t want to do this alone.)

(This post sounds rather British, doesn’t it? With its ‘shall we’ and its ‘good measure’? Why is it when I think of being brave and really being a sh*t disturber (for lack of a better term) I tend to channel a strong, opinionated, tell it like it is, British women. I love those Brits.)

(Okay, I will stop being funny now. Best to leave that to the Queen’s of funny, @mmeperpetua and @torturedpotato .)

ControverSunday: Happy New Year

Welcome to the first ControverSunday of 2011! New to ControverSunday? Check out its home page to get the low-down. And then join us! New contributors are always welcome. Always.

This month’s topic is, appropriately, about resolutions. It’s a pretty open topic this month. Essentially if you are talking resolutions then you are in! Here is the recap of the suggested questions:

“What is it about the way you parent or the way you take care of your self that you want to change or work on this year? What are your resolutions for you or for your kids. What have your challenges been? How will you accomplish them? Why do you want to accomplish them?

Do you think New Years resolutions work? Are they reasonable or realistic? Can we start fresh in the New Year? Can we make big shifts in how we do things? What does it take to do this?”

Good Enough Mum

The Cheeseblog

Ramble Ramble

The Arbolog

Our Lady of Perpetual Bread Crumbs (noticed it’s not linked yet. mmeperpetua has asked for an extension. If there is no post by Friday let’s all head over to her blog and heckle her.)

Now You’re In the World

Sometimes you can change things and sometimes you can’t.

2010 has been rough, y’all. Not as rough as a lot of other people, I still count myself as very very fortunate. But in the context of my life, it has been one of the hardest years yet. I am happy to say goodbye to 2010. That’s not to say there haven’t been some really wonderful things about this year (my kid is really cute and hilarious! and I love that I started writing this blog–it has been a major source of happiness for me. Oh and I got a new ‘professional’ job!), but there have been many tough things too. Many of them I have written about, some of them I haven’t (and won’t).

There are somethings about my life as it is right now that I can’t change. Like really. I can’t. I can do things to try and make it better and easier, but when push comes to shove I don’t control everything. (As much as maybe I would like to).

So when it comes to resolutions, maybe I should set some and work towards the things I can change.

I don’t have any resolutions for the kid or as a parent. I am pretty happy with how I parent and I think Audrey is doing great. Sure I would like to try and stay calm and not get frustrated as quickly… and you know, generally be a better parent because there is always room for improvement. But not resolutions making stuff.

If I were to set a resolution it would be personal. For me, two things come to mind. The weight and the anxiety. I need to deal with both. I still haven’t gotten up the guts to call one of the couple of recommendations for someone to help me with my anxiety. I need to do this pronto.

When it comes to my weight… honestly, I don’t know what to do. I have lost significant weight before. It was hard. Really really hard. I didn’t have a kid and I had a deadline- my wedding in June ’08. I was motivated and I had the time to dedicate to it. We had the money to buy an elliptical (which we had to sell when we moved because it didn’t fit down the stairs in our new place). Now I know what they say. They say there is always time, you can make the time. You can make the time for you. And that is true. But that time does have to come from somewhere. From my blogging time, my knitting time, my sleeping time, my time playing with my toddler, my time with my husband, my cooking/baking time, my cleaning time, my something time. I have to make it priority and to make it a priority I need to give something up.

And I live in a city with winter 8 months out of the year. Which means I also need money to make exercise happen. Scratch that, I want to exercise indoors because I am a whimp and not likely to go for an outdoor run in the bloody cold. So money to go to the gym or the pool or something. Which I guess could come out of our wine budget (don’t tell my husband I said that. 🙂 )

It is possible. I could do it. But if I am honest with myself, I don’t really want to. Not right now. Not with so much else going on. I feel a bit like I am in survival mode, just trying to get by.

I know resolutions are not suppose to be easy. But when are they realistic? So many people set resolutions and then don’t stick with them. The gyms are packed to the brim in January, and then fade away to empty by March. So does it make sense to set a resolution, even one I know I really should do, if I know chances are I am not going to stick to it? Is there value in setting one for the sake of setting it? Does setting a resolution that you know you are likely not going to keep do more harm then good? Is it okay to say, this year, my resolution is just to keep going and try to keep my sanity in the process?

Or maybe I need something. Something I can do. Something I can change. Maybe I need to accomplish something and use that to build upon.

I really don’t know.

I know we all feel we *should* do this resolution thing. Or at the very least reflect. But why? Because we changed the page on the calendar?

I know, I am being very cynical about this whole thing. I guess I am just not feeling really resolution-ish. I think we do resolutions because there is something about a new year that feels like a clean slate. Like we can be and do anything we want. We are starting fresh. New Years is energizing and reflective. But friends, I just don’t feel energized this New Years. I feel run down and worn out. Not exactly the right frame of mind for a successful resolution.

So my resolution is to make a resolution when I feel energized, fresh and new again.

ControverSunday Topic: Resolutions for January 2, 2011

Why not just keep going with the ‘stay in keeping’ with the season thing for ControverSunday?

What is it about the way you parent or the way you take care of your self that you want to change or work on this year? What are your resolutions for you or for your kids. What have your challenges been? How will you accomplish them? Why do you want to accomplish them?

Do you think New Years resolutions work? Are they reasonable or realistic? Can we start fresh in the New Year? Can we make big shifts in how we do things? What does it take to do this?

What do you think?

ControverSunday: The holiday edition

Ho Ho Ho.

So now that we have all been steeping in holiday cheer since November 1st.. as the lights and music and gift commercials hit us in full force the day after Halloween… how are we all feeling about this holiday stuff?

This month’s ControverSunday is an open invitation to talk about anything holiday related that you find controversial. Haven’t played before? No problem. All you have to do is write up your post, toot-suite, and come over here for the link up. Don’t forget to grab your badge from Accidents. And then you are set! Didn’t have a chance to post? No problem! Join via commenting on others great posts!

Okay, now lets get to it.

Our Lady of Perpetual Breadcrumbs

The Arbolog

The Cheeseblog

Tortoise on the Loose

Ramble Ramble

I was thinking about what most bothers me about the holiday season. I don’t mean to sound like a BahHumbug.. I LOVE Christmas… it is just that when it comes to controversial holiday topics, there are a bunch. So this might turn into a couple posts. Cause here are the things I was thinking about.

• The insanely long and drawn out season
• The consumer focus and spoiling of our kids
• How it must make everyone who doesn’t celebrate Christmas feel to have everything taken over for close to 2 months
• Do you or don’t you ‘do’ Santa with your kids. (Kelly Naturally had a great post on this a couple weeks ago… check it out.)

If I wrote about all these things this post would be a couple thousand words or more. So I am going to pick two and then if the others aren’t covered by the other ControverSunday authors, or if the posts got me thinking and I have something else to say, I might post again next Sunday.

And the winners are……

The insanely long and drawn out season & Do you or don’t you ‘do’ Santa.

First off, the long season really bothers me. I get that Christmas is the biggest retail season of the year. And I get it makes economic sense to spread it out as long as possible. (Which also leads to people hiding gifts they bought in the first week of November, and then either forgetting they bought them or forgetting where they hid them and then buying more things the second week in December in a holiday induced brain fog.) I get that.

But I hate it. With. A. Passion. I used to work in retail. And if you think it is annoying to listen to the same Christmas songs for the 5 hours you spend in the mall over the course of the entire Christmas season, then try listening to them for the 300 hours you would listen to them while working overtime for the entire Christmas season. Barf.

And I love Christmas music. I love signing. I love Caroling. I do. But really. The moment the Halloween decorations are put away? I know in the U.S. I hear it is better because most don’t start ‘doing’ Christmas until after U.S. Thanksgiving. Canadian Thanksgiving is early in October, so we don’t have the natural season change over marker. But it seems to me that Christmas has crept up earlier and earlier on the calendar. American friends, can you confirm?

It just makes it not so special, in my opinion. I was appalled with myself that I decorated before December 1st. I usually try to wait until the 15th. Cause I like it to be special. I like to enjoy the music and the lights and the decorations… not get sick of them before the ‘big day’ ever arrives.

I guess that falls into the category of ‘pet peeve’; not holiday controversy.

Anyway. On to perhaps the more ‘important’ topic. Will we ‘do’ the Santa thing with Audrey?

Kelly writes in her post:

“Really, the spirit of Santa is okay with me. It’s more the concocting layers of false “evidence” (cookies half eaten, left by the fireplace, “footprints” in the snow, etc.), in order to convince children (who by their very nature are very literal and want to believe their parents) of the really realness of Santa, that rubs me the wrong way. I prefer to just treat him as part of the holiday landscape that he is, without creating stories; without eroding trust.”

So I guess the question is will we be eroding trust if we choose to keep up with the fantasy of Santa? I mean, I think Kelly has a point. It is a form of lying. And some parents go to great lengths to ‘keep the story alive.’ Is that fair? Will she be disappointed when she finds out the truth? I mean, by the time she is like 4 she will be able to google I suspect…. More so, will she feel betrayed by me?

I don’t know the answer. What I do know is that I think there are many many many kids who grow up with the story and myth of Santa and don’t end up with any trust erosion with their parents. Part of me even feels that part of growing up is realizing your parents are not perfect. Part of growing up is unmasking the mystery of child-hood and seeing the world for what it really is. Full of contradiction and, well, disappointment.

But should I engage in something that is an active choice to deceive?

So here is what I think we will do. Audrey can believe in Santa if she wants to believe in Santa. She will hear about it from other kids, she will ask what all the fuss is about at the mall. And if she wants to go visit Santa, then we will go visit Santa. *warning, I am about to get controversial here.* I am not taking her to see Santa until she requests it. I can only guess that if we took her this year she would flip right the heck out, as being placed in a strangers lap is not her idea of a good time. And honestly kinda makes me feel queasy– shouldn’t it be her choice to be that close to a stranger… not something I do for the sake of a picture? It just doesn’t seem to be very respectful to her to force her into that situation. (Really, I don’t mean to judge if you are all over the Santa pictures.. to each their own. It just makes me uncomfortable for my kid.) If she never asks to see Santa, then we will never go to see Santa.

If she asks to write Santa a letter or leave out cookies, then we will do that. And if she asks questions I will answer them as honestly as I can, while respecting that I don’t want her to be the bearer of bad news to all the other kids. I like Kelly’s idea of asking questions to let your kid come to their own conclusions. I will play along to the extent that Audrey wants to play along. I am going to try to take her lead. To me, that is letting her believe until she no longer wants to believe. I remember as a child knowing Santa wasn’t real, but playing along because I liked the idea of it. I never felt betrayed. But my parents never made a really big deal of it either. So I think that is our plan.

What about you?

ControverSunday Topic December 5th: Oh the holidays!

So, I am using a NaBloPoMo get out of jail free card today and posting then next ControverSunday topic. I have a bunch of posts that I am working on for this week, but none of them do I feel comfortable hitting publish on. (One of them is a bit of a confession/over share so I am nervous about posting it.) So! Topic announcement it is! Yeah!

First off can I say that I am THRILLED that we had so many participants this week for ControverSunday!! I can’t tell you how happy that made me. Thank you Thank you Thank you! And it was great to read everyone’s perspectives (I have a bunch of comments to make, but haven’t had a chance… I will soon!) If you haven’t already, please check out all the participants.

So I think the monthly is working out. It makes it more of a special occasion and I think it is more realistic. And sure, most of us procrastinated and wrote our posts at the last minute despite the extra notice cause, you know, we are human. But I still think the long topic notice helps. You know, time to simmer with our thoughts.

I was thinking our topic for December 5th should be rather festive, don’t you think? I also want to try and open the topic up more to non-parenting types. But, lets be honest, most of our current participants like to talk kids, so I wanted the topic to work with them too.

So. Drum roll please…

Let’s talk about the holidays. What do you think about the North American holiday season? Too long? Too short? What about the focus? (Presents, time with family, ect) The traditions? The religious focus of it? How does that impact people that are not of the same faith in our multicultural society? What about multi-faith families? Do you have any holiday pet peeves?

Essentially, I am inviting you to share your thoughts about what you think is the most controversial about the holidays. Take it where ever you want it to go.

(Oh, and if you are reading this and all like “what the heck is ControverSunday?” then check out the ControverSunday page. Which I will update as soon. But it gives you the general drift.)

ControverSunday: Digital Privacy

Happy Sunday all! Welcome to our now monthly installment of ControverSunday. Novembers topic? Digital Privacy! Yeah!

This topic was suggested by Ginger over at Ramble Ramble and Noddleknobs and essentially, the question is whether or not one is able to have digital privacy for their children (or themselves). With the prevalence of Facebooks and blogs and twitter, ect… many of our kids have an online presense before they are 2 years old. What will this mean for our kids growing up in this environment

Want to join us in talking about this topic? Awesome. Go over to Accidents and grab the badge. Write up your post ASAP (cause we are all trying really really hard to post on time on Sunday) and then come back hear to provide a link. Voila. You are then a part of the official ControverSunday team.

Check out these other awesome ControverSunday posts!

Ramble Ramble

The Arbolog

Tortoise on the Loose

The Cheeseblog

Now your in the world

Our lady of perpetual bread crumbs

Accidents will happen

Okay, now for the topic at hand. Wow is this a big one. I mean, really truly, this could be like 10 posts. Or one 5000 word post. I promise I won’t to that to you.

So I am going to try and narrow the discussion to what I think about the most regarding this subject. But I will say quite honestly, I am a bit torn on this issue. I really do see both sides and I don’t know what to do. To give some background… my ‘ground rules’ for Audrey’s digital presence are as follows:

a) Facebook: pretty fair game. There is a lot of info about Audrey on Facebook, but both my husband and I have pretty strict privacy settings. And we are not the type to have every ‘acquaintance’ as a ‘friend’ on facebook. People we actually know only.

b) Twitter, Blog: I try to just share my first name and Audrey’s first name. I haven’t mentioned my husbands first name. And I don’t like to share pictures. (As much I really want to sometimes, you know, being a proud mama and all. Plus, my kid is really cute.) But I find over time I become more and more laid back about this too.

Which leads me into my first point of discussion:

1) It ain’t going away

Let’s be honest, people are often anxious about new technology and new ways of communicating. Anxiety usually turns to fear and a bit of paranoia. But if we are realistic, social media is not going away. And social media makes our lives very public. Sure, it is possible to not have Facebook, not have Twitter, not be on Linkedin, not be online. But you may still have an online presence. Many places put names and e-mail addresses for their staff on their websites. Or you might have been in attendance at a meeting that published their meeting minutes to the internet. Or a friend might mention you on Facebook, maybe even put up a picture. Most people can be found with 5 minutes, an internet connection, and a search engine. Or someone might hack into a company or (even worse) your bank’s computer system and have access to a lot of information on you. So do we need to be aware of this and watching for signs of identity theft? Yes. But can we ever prevent or control everything that goes on the internet related to us? No.

So I think it is kinda naive and futile to try and stem the tide of the reality of our world being digital. The world is digital. Now we need to find a way to manage that.

2) My kid doesn’t have a say right now

On the other hand. When it comes to my kid what I think about and question is if I have a right to put her life online. I write this blog, so to some extent I think the answer to that question is yes. But I do think there is a very big responsibility there for me to protect and guard my child’s online image. I do think, when I write something, if it is something that is appropriate to share with the world or not. It is not just about if something might embarrass her when she is older (really, how different is that from sharing embarrassing pictures at her wedding or something). It is more about what do I have the right to share and what is private and hers to decide what to share. As she gets older, I suspect I will be asking that more and more. Really. Her image, her information, her story is hers, not mine. And she can’t tell me right now what her thoughts are about my sharing them. I write this blog anyway. But not without being aware of this issue and reflecting on it as I write.

3) It’s all about awareness and management

In the end, I really think it is all about awareness and managing your own (or your children… until they are old enough to manage their own) image. Having a digital presence? That is inevitable. So rather then my digital presence being dictated by someone else, I want to manage my own. I want to be out there being who I am. And when Audrey is old enough, she can be out there being who she is. But I am going to work to talk with her and educate her about implications. To make sure she keeps her digital image clean. She can be real, but we will talk about long term implications for her career if she puts up pictures of herself at a party or bad mouths her boss, for example. As well as how people treat each other online and what is not appropriate (online bullying for example). And about how to stay safe by not sharing too much personal information to protect against identity theft or having a stalker be able to determine her whereabouts.

That being said, I think by the time she is a young adult, the world is going to be more accepting of people living their real lives online. I know there are stories now of people getting fired or not hired because of something their boss or the recruiter found on Facebook. But really, if they won’t hire you because you have a picture of being drunk at a party? What young person hasn’t been drunk at a party? Who hasn’t disliked a boss they had at some point in their career? Yes, we need to be aware of what we say online, but more and more I think people will realize that everyone has skeletons in their closets, whether they put them on Facebook or not.

So what does this mean for Audrey growing up with a digital presence. It means she is going to live in a very different world. It means it is incumbent on myself and my husband to help her learn about what that means. And it means I am going to try to not close myself off to these new forms of technology and communication as I hear some people doing. Because how can I help Audrey learn the implications if I don’t understand what is happening myself?

Okay. Now it’s your turn. Tell me what you think.

ControverSunday Topic for November 7th: Digital Privacy

Okay, so this month I will post the topic a couple weeks ahead, but going forward, as per Jen’s suggestion, I will post the topic for the next month like the day after ControverSunday.

You people really don’t like polls do you? Huh. I love polls. I got out of my way to do them sometimes. I believe they are all kinds of awesome. But you, my faithful readers, you don’t like them.

4 people voted in the poll re: our ControverSunday topic this time around. 3 of those people voted for Digital Privacy. So Digital Privacy it is! The question, as put by the lovely Ginger of Ramble Ramble and Noodle Knobs suggested this topic and put it this way:

“digital privacy–is it a myth or can it be accomplished, new study that 82% of toddlers have an online presence–is this creepy, and/or how do you think this will affect these kids growing up?”

Here is an article re: that study that Ginger is mentioning.

So. Mark your Calendars and sharpen your typing fingers. November 7th! Get ready to share your take/perspective/thoughts on the digital privacy of our kids.

ControverSunday: The Final Verdict. Really. I promise. Well… lets give it a try.

You will have noticed that I have been conspicuously absent in the ControverSunday discussion and I know you all haven’t really heard a peep from me about it since my last post. I have been giving it a really really good think. First off, here are the poll results.

13 votes. 5 said LOVE IT!, 4 said you like it but…. and 4 said goodbye. So to me, that means about 31% of voters are ready to say goodbye and 69% of voters kinda want to keep it, but would like to see some changes. So. Majority wins. Some changes it is and we will give it a go for an other couple months.

Here are my proposed ControverSunday changes:

Once a month. Let’s go with first Sunday of every month. (I would have suggested last Sunday of every month but that would mean the next ControverSunday would be on Halloween.  Not a good idea me thinks.)

I (or who ever would like to guest host) posts the topic post the 3rd Wednesday of every month- thereby giving everyone more then a week to write up your posts and schedule them for the first Sunday of the next month. That is the key people- write your post WAY ahead of time and then just schedule it for Sunday morning.

While I am not a hard ass enough to be uber strict with the posting date, PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE post on Sunday, preferably Sunday morning. This will avoid that ‘but everything I was going to say has already been said’ feeling.

Also- I am thinking about taking the gloves off and go for the really controversial topics once and a while. The thing about blogging is that you need to have a thick skin- something I am learning. But if we are so afraid to say what we really think then why have a blog as a platform for what we think and what we really want to talk about?

And an other thing: I would really LOVE some non-parenting topics. Both Ginger and Mama Tortoise made some great topic suggestions in the comments of the last post, which I will totally add to the roster. But it would be really good to spread our wings to something else, something more inclusive. So anyone that has some non-parenting topics they would like to sent my way- that would be awesome. I am pondering a few.

Lastly- I want to introduce a mission statement for ControverSunday. It goes a little something like this:

ControverSunday is a collaborative blog meme, whereby the goal is to share, discuss and hear out different perspectives on parenting, society and other stuff that matters. All those who participate bring to the table a unique perspective and approach others with mutual respect. Participating is a way to build community, to learn something and to reflect and evaluate our own choices.

All that being said, what should our first topic be? Vote!!! Vote!!! (Today is the Calgary Civic Election- so I am all about the Vote!)