ControverSunday: Happy New Year

Welcome to the first ControverSunday of 2011! New to ControverSunday? Check out its home page to get the low-down. And then join us! New contributors are always welcome. Always.

This month’s topic is, appropriately, about resolutions. It’s a pretty open topic this month. Essentially if you are talking resolutions then you are in! Here is the recap of the suggested questions:

“What is it about the way you parent or the way you take care of your self that you want to change or work on this year? What are your resolutions for you or for your kids. What have your challenges been? How will you accomplish them? Why do you want to accomplish them?

Do you think New Years resolutions work? Are they reasonable or realistic? Can we start fresh in the New Year? Can we make big shifts in how we do things? What does it take to do this?”

badges

Good Enough Mum

The Cheeseblog

Ramble Ramble

The Arbolog

Our Lady of Perpetual Bread Crumbs (noticed it’s not linked yet. mmeperpetua has asked for an extension. If there is no post by Friday let’s all head over to her blog and heckle her.)

Now You’re In the World

Sometimes you can change things and sometimes you can’t.

2010 has been rough, y’all. Not as rough as a lot of other people, I still count myself as very very fortunate. But in the context of my life, it has been one of the hardest years yet. I am happy to say goodbye to 2010. That’s not to say there haven’t been some really wonderful things about this year (my kid is really cute and hilarious! and I love that I started writing this blog–it has been a major source of happiness for me. Oh and I got a new ‘professional’ job!), but there have been many tough things too. Many of them I have written about, some of them I haven’t (and won’t).

There are somethings about my life as it is right now that I can’t change. Like really. I can’t. I can do things to try and make it better and easier, but when push comes to shove I don’t control everything. (As much as maybe I would like to).

So when it comes to resolutions, maybe I should set some and work towards the things I can change.

I don’t have any resolutions for the kid or as a parent. I am pretty happy with how I parent and I think Audrey is doing great. Sure I would like to try and stay calm and not get frustrated as quickly… and you know, generally be a better parent because there is always room for improvement. But not resolutions making stuff.

If I were to set a resolution it would be personal. For me, two things come to mind. The weight and the anxiety. I need to deal with both. I still haven’t gotten up the guts to call one of the couple of recommendations for someone to help me with my anxiety. I need to do this pronto.

When it comes to my weight… honestly, I don’t know what to do. I have lost significant weight before. It was hard. Really really hard. I didn’t have a kid and I had a deadline- my wedding in June ’08. I was motivated and I had the time to dedicate to it. We had the money to buy an elliptical (which we had to sell when we moved because it didn’t fit down the stairs in our new place). Now I know what they say. They say there is always time, you can make the time. You can make the time for you. And that is true. But that time does have to come from somewhere. From my blogging time, my knitting time, my sleeping time, my time playing with my toddler, my time with my husband, my cooking/baking time, my cleaning time, my something time. I have to make it priority and to make it a priority I need to give something up.

And I live in a city with winter 8 months out of the year. Which means I also need money to make exercise happen. Scratch that, I want to exercise indoors because I am a whimp and not likely to go for an outdoor run in the bloody cold. So money to go to the gym or the pool or something. Which I guess could come out of our wine budget (don’t tell my husband I said that. 🙂 )

It is possible. I could do it. But if I am honest with myself, I don’t really want to. Not right now. Not with so much else going on. I feel a bit like I am in survival mode, just trying to get by.

I know resolutions are not suppose to be easy. But when are they realistic? So many people set resolutions and then don’t stick with them. The gyms are packed to the brim in January, and then fade away to empty by March. So does it make sense to set a resolution, even one I know I really should do, if I know chances are I am not going to stick to it? Is there value in setting one for the sake of setting it? Does setting a resolution that you know you are likely not going to keep do more harm then good? Is it okay to say, this year, my resolution is just to keep going and try to keep my sanity in the process?

Or maybe I need something. Something I can do. Something I can change. Maybe I need to accomplish something and use that to build upon.

I really don’t know.

I know we all feel we *should* do this resolution thing. Or at the very least reflect. But why? Because we changed the page on the calendar?

I know, I am being very cynical about this whole thing. I guess I am just not feeling really resolution-ish. I think we do resolutions because there is something about a new year that feels like a clean slate. Like we can be and do anything we want. We are starting fresh. New Years is energizing and reflective. But friends, I just don’t feel energized this New Years. I feel run down and worn out. Not exactly the right frame of mind for a successful resolution.

So my resolution is to make a resolution when I feel energized, fresh and new again.

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15 responses to “ControverSunday: Happy New Year

  1. clara January 2, 2011 at 9:14 am

    Good for you! I don’t think you’re cynical at all, just realistic. And with anxiety on the plate, too, attempting things that are not-realistic doesn’t seem like it would help so much.

    My post http://torturedpotato.com/cheeseblog/?p=2479

  2. Dr Sarah January 2, 2011 at 10:24 am

    Absolutely it’s OK to go into survival mode! That’s exactly what I did during those early years with very small children. It’s only now that they’re six and three – and that my work pattern means there are some hours in the week when both children are with the childminder or in school/nursery respectively and I’m at home and can get things done – that I feel able to start getting caught up on life improvement. I think that, when you’re at that stage, you’ll know it. That stage where you have physical and mental energy to spare on something other than just getting through the day. Until then, don’t make resolutions just because you feel you ought to. Or, if you do, keep them really small-scale and achievable (say if you had a 10 min exercise routine at home? Would that be manageable? Or would it just be the one extra thing that would tip you over the edge – and it’s OK if so because there have been times in my life when I felt that way!) But I think that, when you have very small children and other stresses going on, you get a free pass on life improvement. 😉

  3. Dr Sarah January 2, 2011 at 10:24 am

    Oh – and thanks very much for adding the link to my post! Don’t suppose you can tell me how to get the badge, can you? I pasted the link, but it didn’t seem to work.

    • amoment2think January 2, 2011 at 5:02 pm

      Does the blogging program you use have an HTML format or tab? In wordpress, I just flip to the HTML tab versus the visual tab and then copy and paste the code from Accidents website. I would have to see your blog settings to try and figure it out for you.. .I don’t think you are on wordpress. But you could google HTML badges for whatever you are using and you should get some instructions. Does that help?

  4. thelexhex January 2, 2011 at 10:25 am

    I completely get where you are coming from. I have never truly seen the point in making resolutions or even thinking of the new year as “a clean slate.” It’s just the simple matter of hanging up a new calendar and continuing on with, well, living. 2010 is over, and I don’t feel any less beat up now that it’s a new year — I feel the same as I did a few days ago. :/

  5. Ginger January 2, 2011 at 11:53 am

    I usually feel the same way about the weight–I just don’t care enough to make the time/effort. But something over the last few weeks has pushed me over the edge, and I’m now trying to find 30 minutes a day to do the the 30 day shred (even though I yell unspeakable things at the TV while I’m doing it).
    I think that’s the thing for me about resolutions–when you really want something you’ll make a change. If you don’t, or it’s not the most important thing to you? Well, all the New Year’s Eve/Day talk in the world won’t make you successful. So I think you’ve got exactly the right idea about making a resolution when you feel ready to make a resolution!

    • amoment2think January 2, 2011 at 5:05 pm

      What is the 30 day shred? T.V. based? Hmmmm that I might be able to do.

      • Ginger January 2, 2011 at 9:31 pm

        It’s a DVD. The workouts are 20 minutes (plus a brief warm up cool down), and it’s pretty brutal, but very effective to at least get me off my butt. I got the DVD @ Target for like $12, but I know Amazon has it too.

      • Dr Sarah January 3, 2011 at 3:13 am

        I looked it up on Google because I was also interested, but a number of people on the Amazon reviews site have said that this actually isn’t a very good workout from the point of view of a) safety (it can exacerbate injuries and doesn’t allow sufficient warm-up time) and b) effectiveness (people who sound as though they know what they’re talking about have posted saying that doing the workout every day is actually not a good thing as it doesn’t give your muscles enough time to develop, and you’re better off taking 48-hour breaks between each workout). Whether any of this is true I’m in no position to say, but it was enough to make me decide not to go with this particular programme.

  6. Justine January 2, 2011 at 1:14 pm

    I completely agree about resolutions. The whole process is sort of artificial. Then again, New Years’ tends to be the only time I find myself quiet enough to reflect … so I guess it’s as good a time as any. I’d love to have more patience (as a parent) and balance (in myself) and clarity (about my future) … but the problem is, how does one *accomplish* goals like that? Seems to me that we often make big resolutions where we need small ones: take half an hour to read each day. Walk instead taking the elevator. ?? I’d love to hear others weigh in.

  7. Ginger January 2, 2011 at 9:33 pm

    Oh, and my post–that would have been helpful to link earlier, huh?

    http://rambleramble.com/2011/01/02/controversunday-resolutions-and-goals/

  8. Julia January 3, 2011 at 1:31 pm

    Hey K,
    Just read your post about resolutions, and I feel the same way – half the time people forget them by the end of January or something happens and they can’t find a way to finish them and they get all bummed out. SO – last year I heard about and tried something new – instead of a New Year’s resolution, think hard and pick a ‘word of the year’ for the new year. Something that speaks to you, it can be something that will inspire you, or keep you sane, or be a little reminder of something important. It doesn’t have to mean anything to anyone else except you. I felt a little skeptical at first, but last year I found myself thinking about my word often, and it did help me make some decisions, focus myself on what I wanted, and reminded me of the good things in life. My word last year was “Purpose”. This year, I have chosen “Hope” – it perhaps seems more common or vague, but for me it holds special meaning this year. I’m looking forward to a 2011 full of “hope”, and I know it will give me a little reminder when I need it.

    I hope that helps, and perhaps you can chose yourself a word of the year instead of a resolution too 🙂

  9. Megan January 3, 2011 at 11:22 pm

    I totally get the cynicism/realistic attitude toward resolutions. It’s true that most of us don’t see them through. I know I never have. But, and this would make me the hopeless optimist to your realist/cynic, I just feel like I have to *try*. It honestly is less about the new year. I, as I’m sure most of us do, try all year long to improve myself, take on new challenges, and accomplish my goals. I guess I just do it with more vigor in January than I do in June.

    And, I am totally with you on the weight loss thing. I am adding exercise to my schedule because I am starting to really WANT to do it. But, before that? It wasn’t worth it to me to use up time better spent eating or drinking wine or cooking or whatever. And, if I had to work during the day, I probably wouldn’t even bother. So, I totally get where you’re coming from.

    Anyway, here’s the link to my post. Thanks for letting me relabel and join in!

    http://nowyoureintheworld.blogspot.com/2010/12/2011-year-i-finally-sleep.html

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