Toddler Profanity and other hillarious things about language

(The post where I tell you a whole bunch of stuff about my toddlers linguistic skills that is way more entertaining to me then it is to you, I am sure. But what else is a blog for if not to over share?)

When toddlers open their mouths and start talking it is nothing short of hilarious. First off, there are the danger words. You know, the ones that could very likely end in a huge amount of embarrassment if uttered in the middle of the grocery store.





You get the picture. Boy those toddlers are good at making good wholesome words inappropriate. Really, language is a minefield. And I know every parent has to deal with their kid embarrassing them at some point in public, so its not like I am all that worried. But I guess every time I have heard a kid say a bad word in public before I have always thought they were actually saying the bad word, not saying some perfectly normal word that just sounds bad because they can’t quite pronounce it.  Huh. And HA!

The other thing I find hilarious is all the words that sound the same. For Audrey, ‘swing’ and ‘raisin’ sound alike. I know! How in the world she makes swing and raisin sound alike is totally a mystery to me. But they are virtually the same word in her vocab: “fwins.” The other day I took Audrey to the park and she kepts asking for “fwins”, which confused me because she had just had a snack. Until it dawned on me that we had gone to the park without any baby swings (we have two parks near our house) and what she really wanted was to go to the park with the swings. I obliged, she was happy.

Slightly more understandable are two other words that sound the same “Peter” (as in Peter rabbit, which whom she is completely obsessed with right now) and “computer”= “pooder.” Really, how do they come up with this stuff?

What is even more amazing is the speed at which Audrey seems to be learning words and putting things together. The other day we saw a dog in a car driving beside us. I asked her if she saw the puppy. She said “I see puppy. Black puppy.” And yes, you guessed it, the puppy was black. We have been talking to her about colors but I didn’t know she got the concept yet. Amazing! Then we were at the park and a baby was crying. I told her that the baby was crying and she got it right away. She has been talking about crying ever since. “Puppy crying? Daddy crying? Mommy crying? Baby crying?”

Then there are the words and phrases that she says in just such a funny way, I can’t help but encourage her to say them. “Apple Sauce.” I know this doesn’t exactly translate to print, but if you could hear her say ‘apple sauce’ you would laugh your ass off. It is not that she mispronounces it- it is more that the way she says it is so perfect, but with the emphasis on the sauuuce, it is too funny. My other favourites are “Hello cutie,” which she picked up because that’s what my husband says to her. There is something hilarious about a toddler calling my husband a cutie! Also on my list is “Audrey is funny,” which she says when we laugh at her with her for being such a hoot.

The other amazing thing about language is how they develop their own little language that sometimes only their parents can understand. I have a number of friends with toddlers and half the time I have not idea what those kids are saying. No idea. But their parents seem to be able to decode in a second. But Audrey says something and I get it. Not all the time mind you, sometimes my husband and I just look at each other and say “do you know what she is talking about?” and then we shrug. But a lot of the time we can decode the mispronunciation and made up words.

And just in the last couple days Audrey has started giving out directions. It cracks me up. We go to the park and she says “Mommy sit down. Mommy slide. Go,” or “run Mommy, Run.” or “walk puppy. walk. Mommy walk.” At home she goes to the couch, points beside her and says “Mommy sit down,” then she grabs a book as says “Mommy read book please.” Let me tell you, this kid knows how to get what she wants.

I know this isn’t rocket science- it is normal toddler stuff. But I just find the whole language thing a total hoot. And beyond being full of entertainment, it is just so astonishing. How do they go in 19 months from not even being born to full on sentences and communication and LANGUAGE?? There is something about watching that process which is so totally flabbergasting and full of awe.

Okay, I am done over sharing. Yes, that’s right, the only point of this post was that I am just, like, Wow. Language.


8 responses to “Toddler Profanity and other hillarious things about language

  1. Megan October 22, 2010 at 12:09 pm

    I am so right there with you on this one. Charlotte is putting so many words together, forming little sentences, and expanding her vocabulary in huge ways. My mind is blown every day, even though I know what she’s doing is totally normal.

    What gets me every time is her freakin’ memory! She remembers things we haven’t discussed in weeks. So crazy.

    Aren’t you loving this age? I think it is the BEST!

    • amoment2think October 22, 2010 at 12:41 pm

      I know! It is wild. Yes, I am certainly having more fun with her now then I ever have before. She is a hoot. Oh I wish we lived close enough that we could get the two of them together- it would be soo funny!

  2. Cheryl October 22, 2010 at 4:33 pm

    Love this! I just want to hear her say everything you mentioned 🙂

    It’s so much fun when you can start talking with them, instead of just talking to them. Realizing how much they learn every day really can blow your mind.

    I love early words, the real and the silly. B would say fire truck in a very, um, amusing way, if you know what I mean. And just recently, he’d say something was coming “de-tords” us instead of “towards” us. He says it correctly now and I am almost sad to hear him be grown up!

    And Megan, I am with you on the memory! B remembers everything. We can’t sneak much past this guy.

  3. Mama Tortoise October 22, 2010 at 9:48 pm

    Love that age! At least at this point your child only mistakenly uses profanity (or what sounds like it). I’m starting to deal with the real thing! Got to watch my mouth. (“Mummy is allowed to say those words but only when she is driving. You, you’re not driving.”)

  4. Megan October 22, 2010 at 11:27 pm

    @Cheryl- I know! I can’t sneak anything past her these days. I told her we could watch a few minutes of The Princess and the Frog the other day when we got home from the bookstore. Thirty minutes later, we pull in the driveway, and the FIRST words out of her mouth were “Pincess Fog?”

    @Kathleen- I was thinking the same thing! I would LOVE to see Charlotte and Audrey interacting. After all, they are practically the same baby, based on our observations, right? LOL

  5. Perpetua October 23, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    We are just slowly getting to this stage. I can’t wait til the real fun starts! It sounds like A is doing great. 🙂

    • amoment2think October 23, 2010 at 6:07 pm

      They all go at their own pace. But it is fun when it happens. I find it funny now what a big deal that everyone makes about ‘baby’s first word’ when the stuff I will really remember is the funny first sentences.

  6. Sophie October 24, 2010 at 1:02 pm

    I agree completely… When my son was at this stage I was also flabbergasted. And then they start figuring out grammar and they’ll say “the airplane flyded” or “my toothes”. Really cute.

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