Fess Up Friday

Okay, let’s get right into it, eh?

1) I have NO IDEA how to play with a 1yr old. Seriously. I got peek-a-boo and a couple of songs. That is it. And every time  I get on the floor to play with her, she toddles away from me and plays on her own. So then I get up and take a sip of coffee and sit on the couch and she toddles back over to me and starts whining for me to pick her up. I suck. Honestly, I just feel like my only role is to stop her from hurting herself and occasionally engage her by responding to her babbling. Is there a course or something I can take to be one of those “fun” Moms that always gets their kid to laugh? I am way too boring.

2) On that note…. I am beginning to believe/hope that I am a better “kid” and “teenager” Mom then I am a “baby” or “toddler” Mom. I mean, I can see myself rocking at the whole “I don’t want to clean my room” or the “I hate you, you are embarrassing.” But I am just not so good at  the “waaaaaaaaaa” or the “WAAAAAAAAA (complete with pointing at random object which is wanted)”. I don’t read minds.

3) I am getting tired of people, upon finding out that I have recently returned to work from maternity leave, saying “Oh, I am sorry. That must really be hard/suck/difficult/sad.” I mean, I am not mad at them for saying it, they are just trying to be understanding/supportive/making small talk/whatever. But I feel kinda heartless saying, “Actually I am way happier and I think my kid is happier too.” (For an explanation of why I feel this way, see #1 and #2). I mean, I know I am not heartless. Lots of Mom’s prefer to work outside the home. Just like lots of Mom’s prefer to stay at home. But everyone assumes I must be devastated. And I am finding that hard.

4) My kid has an eye infection. So I have an extended long weekend, starting yesterday. I should be happy. But I am not. Again, see #1, #2 and #3.

5) Is it bad that I think it is frustrating that I have to stay home? Truth of the matter is that she isn’t really sick. She woke up from a nap with gucky, crusty, puffy eye. She got 3 doses of over the counter anti-bac drops Wednesday night/Thursday morning and by the time we got the ‘real prescription’ drops on Thursday morning all of the guck-i-ness was gone and all of the puffiness was gone. There was never any dreaded “pink.” She never once rubbed her eyes. The only issue she has is that I keep on having to swaddle her up tight so she can’t punch and kick me while I hold her eyelid open so I can squirt some drops in.  Anyway, back to my point. I KNOW she is probably CONTAGIOUS. And the last thing I want is for all her little dayhome friends to get the guck-eye too. BUT. We actually don’t know that she really has an eye infection. All the doctor did was look at her for 2.3 seconds and assume it was probably an eye infection and therefore she needed the prescription. Oh whatever, I am just grumpy. Yes, I know, she needs to stay home even if we just *think* she has an infection. Better safe then sorry. Bah.

6) A eats one of two meals for dinner all week: pasta with squash or avocado, eggy bread (french toast sans milk and syrup) with mixed veggies. That is all I got. Beyond that, I am totally out of ideas. What do toddlers eat (that is healthy)? Apparently she will eat all kinds of veg, fruit and even chicken at the day home. She won’t touch it at home. We have tried scrambled eggs at least 15 times now- it all ends up on the floor. I have no idea what I am doing when it comes to feeding a toddler.

7) (I almost forgot). I miss cable. I wish I didn’t. But at the end of the day I just want to vegetate in front of the TV.

Now go visit Brooke for more Fess Up Friday fun!


16 responses to “Fess Up Friday

  1. Fearless Formula Feeder April 16, 2010 at 1:03 pm

    Do you wanna switch kids for a bit? My son will play independently when he wants to, but if he sees me doing ANYTHING for myself – eating, typing on the laptop, talking on the phone – he comes over and says “no, mommy” and smacks me on the legs until I stop. Then I have to entertain him for the next 3 or 4 hours. I try and fill our days with as much outside activity as possible b/c he is so unhappy in the house. All my acting training is giving me nada. I suck. I can’t wait for the preschool stage when art and nature projects will cut it, but for now, my audience is NOT impressed.

    • amoment2think April 16, 2010 at 4:57 pm

      LOL! Yeah, I am looking forward to preschool age too. I think I will be good at stories, art projects, exploring nature, ect. Right now there is just a lot of banging things on the floor, dumping out buckets and grabbing things to put in her mouth. I am with you, my audience is not impressed either.

  2. Sophie April 16, 2010 at 1:28 pm

    You know, I understand you so well… I just know that Zak is much better than I am at playing with/entertaining a toddler or a child. I did really good with the breastfeeding/cuddling stage, but I still need to work on the being goofy and pretending the living room is the ocean stage.

    When I went back to work, I got the same question as you, and I could only say, “Actually, I think he’s better off with my husband, and no, I’m not stressed out, because I trust him entirely”. I love my son dearly and I love to spend time with him on evenings and weekends, but I find it a lot more exhausting than actually working.

    I think it’s wonderful that Zak could (and wanted to) stay at home. But if I had had to make the same decision, I’m not sure I could have. I mean, I’m jealous when they find some great activities to do and have tons of fun while I’m stuck working on something boring, but at the same time, I know that if it had been me, I wouldn’t have thought of doing that same fun thing, and we both would have been bored.

    All I can say is I think/hope it gets better/easier with experience and time…

  3. clara April 16, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    I feel you.

    When I went back to work after #1, after I dropped him at daycare, I practically skipped to the bus stop and back into work. Eventually, as my workplace turned into hell and the daycare did too, the skipping stopped..(also I got pregnant right away so no skipping!) so I am at home full time now…
    and while it’s harder to work out of the home *and* be a parent (imo) at LEAST if you get out of the house to go to work, you get some time to yourself, which is key to making anyone a better person / parent. again, imo.

    Also, it’s hard to play with one year olds. It’s not just you. Between 1 – 2 they just want to know you’re there while they’re exploring. They don’t care if you’re having any fun.

  4. Briana April 16, 2010 at 4:19 pm

    Yeah one is hard. It’s big enough to *almost* be fun. I was always trying to get Wes to do things that were beyond him. He just wanted to put things into buckets and dump them out again. I was relieved to go back to work, even though I did find the transition hard for both me and him. Honestly, I forget what specific things I did to entertain him. Made truck sounds and played with cars on the floor I think. It’s a lot more fun at two. I am the kind of mom that likes to play games in which we are all sailors on a boat (i.e. couch) and the carpet is the ocean, and oh no! look! a hairy sea monster (aka the dog)!

    Wes wasn’t a fussy eater. I mostly just gave him chunks of whatever we ate and he’d eat or not as he liked. I remember hard-boiled egg was a favourite, and olives. He likes steamed broccoli and of course also mac ‘n cheese and PB&J. It turns out tofu is a hit too. Just plain tofu. Go figure.

    I’d say just keep experimenting. One thing I found helped was to always offer new foods along with old favourites. Also, not to overload the plate. Wes eats better if I give him only a few bites at a time and then let him ask for more of whatever he likes. Also, summer is coming, and you’ll probably find A will be all over the fresh fruit & veg. Maybe try letting her pick something at the farmers market? Wes ate all kinds of things he wouldn’t touch at home when he saw other kids sampling the food at the market.

    • amoment2think April 16, 2010 at 5:01 pm

      Yes, I could totally get into the make believe play once she gets older. That would be fun.

      We will keep working on the food thing. I am sure she will get better over time. The hardest part is remind ourselves not to stress out about it. We offer food, she decides if she wants to eat it or not. I know she won’t starve herself. But I also HATE being woken up at 2am because she refused dinner and then woke up in the middle of the night hungry. But such is life. Your tips are good though, offer new foods with fav and not to much on the tray. And she is usually really good with fruit… so hopefully she will pick up on the veggies.

  5. Megan April 16, 2010 at 8:46 pm

    Yeah, I am with you on this as well.

    Charlotte is at a super fun age, but keeping her entertained for more than a second is impossible! I’ll think I found some brilliant idea for a game, and she’s like “Uh huh. I see where you’re going with this, but I’m gonna be over here yelling and tearing stuff apart.”

    And there is NOTHING wrong with enjoying being back at work. Everyone is different, and you know what will make you happiest and the best mother you can be!

  6. Accidents April 16, 2010 at 9:41 pm

    At one, I have no issues with sending Hank to child care, he and I both love it. I love working, and he gets to play with other kids and be outside practically all day. I think it is hard for other parents, and I totally support them in that. But even though I’m now enjoying our time together more and more (rather than just loving him and wanting to see to his needs) I’d send him to childcare full time if we could afford it. That’s just me.

    Also at one, Hank can be a tricky companion. I cannot sit down or he scrambles to be in my lap, but he won’t stay put once there, just climbs and kicks me (unintentionally). Same if I sit on the floor. If I lie down on the floor he tries to lie with me, which means headbutting me over and over. So I end up hovering around him all day while he plays just to keep him off me. Sigh. I think I’m a great playmate as they go, but I also imagine I’ll be “better” with an older child.

    Hank is a notoriously pick eater and we’re trying our best not to get frustrated or to despair. I think, though, if he actually even tried a bite of most things I’d be inspired to give him a great variety in his diet. But because he refuses so many foods and is very very hesitant to try anything new I just serve a small rotation of things I know he’ll eat, and introduce (rarely) new things that are like those things, rather than really branching out. I’m worried that this is going to perpetuate his pickiness (in fact I know it will). But like you, I’m stuck.

    (We have to mix carrot puree into apple sauce or with yogurt to get him to eat a vegetable every day. So far disguised carrot and sweet corn are the only veggies he’ll eat. Maddening.)

    • amoment2think April 17, 2010 at 6:35 am

      It sounds like we are all having a similar experience with the one year olds… I think they are just so into exploring that they don’t know what they want (sit with mama, not sit with mama, play over here, play over there).

      Yeah, the food thing is tough. I worry too about her being picky… but I can’t get her to try new things so…. It is maddening though that she apparently will eat stuff at the dayhome, but not here. AGggggg. But I will try at veg in yogurt trick and see if it works.

      I also bake sweet potato, pumpkin or squash into muffins or loafs… that seems to work too. (oh my carboholic in training)

  7. Megan April 16, 2010 at 9:55 pm

    Okay, I know I shouldn’t complain considering my kids will eat almost anything we put in front of her, but godamnit why can’t I get her to drink milk???

  8. Fearless Formula Feeder April 16, 2010 at 10:03 pm

    Megan, my kid can’t drink milk, obviously (since he’s violently allergic to dairy and all) but we had a hell of a time getting him to drink anything besides formula. He finally took to oat milk, but it was a lot of cajoling and trying different things…

    A few of my friends have kids who won’t drink milk, but I think as long as they eat dairy in other forms, and drink some liquids (ie water) for hydration, it’s fine. Like if she eats yogurt or cheese or whatever…?

  9. Megan April 16, 2010 at 10:06 pm

    I totally didn’t think about the fact that some kids CAN’T drink milk. I was so hung up on this being a necessity, but you’re right. She loves her some yogurt (I should buy stock in Yo Baby), cheese is hit and miss, and she drinks tons of water for hydration. So, I guess we’re good. Thanks!

    Sorry for hijacking your comments section with my mama drama, Kathleen!

    • amoment2think April 17, 2010 at 6:32 am

      Lol, no worries.

      Mine doesn’t drink milk either… She has been allergic to all dairy. Although we did try yogurt recently and it seems she might have outgrown her allergy (the doctor said she might sometime before she was two or three.) But I still don’t think we will give her milk for a while yet. And when we do, I doubt she will drink it. So don’t worry.

  10. Amber April 17, 2010 at 2:14 pm

    I don’t really play WITH my toddlers. If they seem to want me to I try, but most of the time I just try to keep an eye on them so that they don’t hurt themselves / our belongings / the cat / etc. There isn’t much that I would consider traditional ‘play’, except for maybe dancing to music or visiting the playground. But even then, it’s not about me playing with the kid, it’s about me following the kid around.

    As for toddler food, I feed mine whatever I’m eating. He pretty much can eat it all. The big hits are finger foods like peas, small cut-up pieces of cheese or fruit, small pieces of meat, that sort of thing. Also, yogurt, but that’s much messier. It was when my kids started eating what I eat that I really cleaned up my own diet.

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