Interwebs and Drama: Why is the WWW not like the water cooler

First off. Hi. How’ve ya been? Sorry for being MIA for the last couple weeks. And also, did you miss me? I am almost done my 9 week condensed course and I am also close to being out of my funk. Therefore, I believe/hope my hiatus from the interwebs is coming to a close. So today, I write a post for your consideration:

Every time I log in to twitter, drama seems to be a-brewing. Drama seems, in fact, to dominate much of the conversation. Now I don’t know if this is true of other blogging communities, but those of us who fall into the “Mommy Blogging” community, seem particularly dominated by the drama.

(First, let me admit right now, that is part of why I login. I am bothered by but moth-to-flame when it comes to debate/drama. Same reason I like reality TV.)

I have been blogging and on twitter since about February. In that time span I have seen up-tine “tweet storms” break out. The big ones? Breastfeeding/Formula feeding, Nestle, blogher and diapers. (Diapers. Seriously. Just how do you get drama from diapers?) Most of these dramas, in my opinion, regardless of the importance of the topic, are ridiculous. Nothing deep, profound and meaningful is being debated in those 140 characters. It’s just mud slinging.

Sometimes, in the comments to blog posts, we get some meaningful debate and exchange of ideas. But usually, it is one person with REALLY strong not-going-to-budge opinions which run counter to the majority of readers so it turns in to a go-no-where debate. More intelligent then mud slinging but no more productive. (Not that I turn down participating in those debates, as I say, I just can’t help myself.)

Many people talk about how society and community is moving online. In some ways, this is a good thing. People with different backgrounds and beliefs are being brought together. You talk with people you would never get a chance to meet in real life. And it is amazing how a community can develop around a dozen blogs, whose writers all read each others stuff. Especially when we have the shared experience of having young kids. (Ah guys, I just love you all!).

Well this is all great, I think it also has it’s downsides. Think about it… a lot of online twitter/blog talk is really “water cooler talk”. The topics that people blog about: politics, movies, food, parenting, education, technology, ect are the things that people used to only really talk about around the water cooler or the dinner table. I am not saying this to diminish their importance. Sure, sometimes water cooler talk is ‘small talk’ but often it is a place where we exchange our opinions on really important things. Sure, there are a few ‘lets not go there’ topics, but there is still lots of room for interesting and meaningful discussion.

I know some people feel that blogging is a form of social activism and I agree and think it can be. Others would say blogging is a part of the media, and I guess that is true too. But your average blog is not read by millions. The community of readers is more then the number of people you could fit around the water cooler, but most blogs will not be “mass media.”

The difference is that well people may have debated around the water cooler, I think most of the time the tone of the conversation wasn’t that of the online twitter and blog post comment we see in the online communities. At the water cooler people disagree with each other. Nothing more. Online the situation quickly escalates to an all-out snarkey battle. The polite rules of the water cooler don’t apply. Why? Because you aren’t speaking to someone’s face, you don’t know them, and you don’t have to finish that work project with them by next week. So, we let loose and say what we ‘really’ think. Why not? What are the consequences?

Why am I writing this? I don’t know, because it is interesting. And a little concerning. IF society’s mode of debate and conversation is moving online, then this shift in tone is concerning, I think. If every important conversation is downgraded to a mud slinging contest- how are we going to get anywhere? There are some pretty serious things we need to figure out in our society/country(s) and 140 characters just isn’t doing it for me.

Or maybe it isn’t that different at all? I mean, I have seen a couple town hall/debates in person and many on the news, which deteriorate pretty quickly into a very unproductive conversations.

So then, I guess the question is what do we need to happen so we can have meaningful conversation and actually get some things dealt with?

I don’t know. Thoughts?

(Also. Media. You aren’t helping. As there is only a handful of you left that actually report in a way that is informative and while not without bias (as I am not sure that exists) at least acknowledges the bias and tries to present all sides of the story. For most of you, its all about entertainment or sensationalizing a story. Booo. )